


let me know when you've had enough

by notcalumhood



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Depression, Eating Disorders, M/M, Pretty sad, Self Harm, sad!mikey, triggering??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-27
Updated: 2014-11-27
Packaged: 2018-02-27 04:47:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2679695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notcalumhood/pseuds/notcalumhood
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>michael didn’t push people away anymore. ‘leave me alone’ was rare to be heard from him. when it was heard, calum was always there to pick him back up. and michael felt guilty. guilty that calum had to be the one to do that. he was the one who had to wake up at three in the morning to crying. he was the one who had to be without michael for a few hours when he locked himself in the bathroom. <br/>but the thing was, he didn’t leave.</p>
            </blockquote>





	let me know when you've had enough

**Author's Note:**

> hey so this has been in my drafts since year one b.c. and i've just now decided to post it so thank u for reading uwu  
> the title is lyrics from 'clear' by twenty one pilots

michael used to say ‘leave me alone’ almost everyday. he’d never say it loud enough, but it was never a whisper. he’d say it weakly, almost like he wasn’t certain. it seemed to work, though. calum was so naive in michael’s eyes. ‘leave me alone’ seemed to mean ‘bug me and ask me if i’m okay, even though you know i’m not.’ he loved it, though. how he was so determined to know what was wrong. he would stay by michael in his darkest hours. he’d watch how he’d say ‘i’m fine’ but the way his voice shook gave the entire thing away. he’d hold michael when he was crying at three am, trying not to hurt himself or calum. he’d watch how michael tried to isolate himself, but when it came to calum he felt at home. he stood by michael when he would relapse. he stood by michael when he wouldn’t eat, or when he’d run to the bathroom to throw up. he stood by michael when he would need someone to pick him up after his dad had hit him and gone to bed. he stood by michael. it wasn’t long before they realized how much they loved each other. soon enough, they were inseparable. whenever michael would be a little quieter than normal, calum would try to be nicer. he would try to be more affectionate. he would try. and michael appreciated that more than anything. they moved in together after graduation, and michael couldn’t thank calum enough. cause he had made it. he never thought that he would live until his senior year. he probably wouldn’t have if calum hadn’t come along. but he did. michael didn’t push people away anymore. ‘leave me alone’ was rare to be heard from him. when it was heard, calum was always there to pick him back up. and michael felt guilty. guilty that calum had to be the one to do that. he was the one who had to wake up at three in the morning to crying. he was the one who had to be without michael for a few hours when he locked himself in the bathroom.   
but the thing was, he didn’t leave.  
he stayed by michael when he needed it most. he knew when michael needed to be alone, when he needed time to himself. and he knew when he should hold him. he knew when he should hold michael against his chest and when he should kiss him in the middle of town. he knew whenever michael needed something. he didn’t know how, but he did.   
after a while, this stopped, and for once in his life michael was surprised. he was surprised when calum wouldn’t hold michael when he was crying at three in the morning. how when he said ‘i love you’, it was almost like he was being forced to say it. he knew that calum was tired of having to comfort michael. but he couldn’t help it. he couldn’t help it that he needed somebody to hold him when he needed it, how he needed someone to tell him it would be okay.   
and when calum had his bag over his shoulder and was opening the door, michael practically screamed ‘don’t leave me alone’. his voice cracked and he watched as calum didn’t even look at him when he closed the door.   
quick enough, michael was on the road to breaking completely. he was getting worse and worse everyday. he couldn’t look at the albums they had bought together in the record store a few blocks down without breaking down. he kept turning down luke and ashton’s offers to hang out.  
and when calum realized that he had made a mistake, he was too late.   
and he practically screamed ‘don’t leave me alone’ when he walked into the bathroom they once shared and watched as michael bled out on the cold tiles of the bathroom floor.


End file.
